The Power(less) Rankings encountered a rift in the space time continuum last season and returned to this dimension only to find that the only thing going on in the world of pro football was even more obnoxious than power rankings. I speak, of course, of the lockout. I didn’t really feel like writing about the subject simply because all I learned in those five months was that we (the fans) are truly an afterthought for most of the millionaires and billionaires who bring us NFL football. Most intelligent fans suspected this before said lockout, but we didn’t really need our noses rubbed in it.
HOWEVER, the lockout is now over and a certain worldwide leader in sports already has their first power rankings of the year online. I found this quite silly since most teams are just trying to figure out who’s in shape at this point, and we’ve not even had a preseason game. Add to that the fact that I’ve somehow caught the flu in August, and KABOOM! You’ve got yourself a Power(less) Rankings post!
I will avoid ranking teams, as the concept of trying to figure out if the Bills or the Browns are doing better in their scrimmages makes my nausea kick up, but there are some interesting moves that I think will do more to shape this season than current media coverage might suggest. Please note that I’m focusing on free agent acquisitions, not trades.
Signed: Johnathan Joseph (CB)
My reaction: Hot diggity.
The Texans have needed help in their secondary for a long time, and Houston was smart enough to understand that Nnamdi Asomugha was probably going to want to play for a real contender after spending what probably felt like 20 years in Oakland. Joseph instantly upgrades the defense and will make it easier for Mario Williams to rack up some sacks while learning his new position.
Signed: Mike Sims-Walker (WR)
My reaction: Sneaky bastards.
As a Vikings fan, I was really hoping Sims-Walker would land in Minnesota. Hence the angry reaction. Rams fans should be overjoyed to get a playmaker with the size, speed, and potential to be a legitimate number-one receiver. I’m sure Sam Bradford wasn’t too upset. I am a bit surprised that the Jaguars let him go, but it’s possible he didn’t like playing second fiddle to the smaller and seemingly less talented Mike Thomas. Either way, he’s in St. Louis now, and splitting him out wide will lead to more single coverage for Danny Amendola (A.K.A. Wes Welker 2.0).
Signed: Todd Heap (TE) and Richard Marshall (CB)
My reaction: Quality contributor times two.
The defensive backfield was all that Carolina had going for them last year, and Marshall was no small part of that. He’s not as quick or flashy as Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie, but he’s a solid defensive back who will make D.R.C.’s departure less painful in the short term. As for Heap, he may be at the tail end of his career, but as long as Larry Fitzgerald is running that nine route, Todd will be able to move the chains underneath every so often. These are the kind of moves that will help Arizona make it back to the playoffs.
Signed: Remi Ayodele (DT)
My reaction: Adiós, Pat Williams.
The larger half of the “Williams Wall” had clearly lost a step toward the end of last season, and not many were shocked that the Vikings let him go, but that didn’t mean replacing him would be easy. Enter Remi Ayodele, a young, talented player from New Orleans with experience at nose tackle and a reputation for aggressive play. He has loads of potential, so if he can manage more consistent play than he did for the Saints, then the Vikings may have found their long-term replacement faster than expected.
Signed: Vonta Leach (FB)
My reaction: Ray Rice has a new best friend.
Fullbacks don’t get nearly enough love. Especially big, mauling ones like Leach. He was a big part of Arian Foster’s breakout year with the Texans, and Baltimore couldn’t have chosen a finer replacement for the outgoing Le’Ron McClain. Everyone seems to think Flacco’s performance will be the determining factor for the Ravens this year, but the duo of Leach and Rice should help make Joe’s job a little easier.
